She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I have feelings that need drinking.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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