Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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