Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
