i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
