Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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