on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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