6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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