I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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