Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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