my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This house was built for laser tag.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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