So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
