He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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