Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
