I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
