Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
