Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
