He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
