Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
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i dont even know how to be here
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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