At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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