college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
