There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
