I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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