god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
this just has baby written all over it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
