I'm sorry my penis didn't work
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
