If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
