D3 body, D1 cock
I'm going to jail i love you
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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