im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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