break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
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He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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