i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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