It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize