We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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