did you get engaged???
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I accidentally burped into my bong.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
FUCK WHALES
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
