Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
