you guys were way drunker than both of me
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
