I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize