matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
