She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
