I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
And then my night got REAL pukey
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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