cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
