Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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