bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
