Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize