gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
