It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
