butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
