I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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