She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
