Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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