i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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