i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
