She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
