Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the day after is always just damage control
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
