..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I think my moral compass just broke
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
