This show inspires me to have sex in space
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
