I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The uberlube is also flammable
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
