i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
