Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize