none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
