in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
