The maid of honor just puked.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You made out with two different species that night
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
