i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
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Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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