Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize