it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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