Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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