There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
