Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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