im about as happy as oj after his trial
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
