I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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